| Real Sergeants |
| Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word. |
| Have a spine. |
| Can play a cherry Lieutenant like a finely tuned instrument. |
| Can see in the Dark. |
| Have eyes in the back of their heads. |
| Still don't trust the Russians. |
| Still hate the French. |
| Don't know how to be politically correct. |
| Don't give a damn about being politically correct. |
| Think that "politically correct" should fall under "sodomy" in the UCMJ. |
| Love deployments because there is less paperwork and more "real work." |
| Can run a 4 miles with a hangover. |
| Do not fear women in the military. |
| Would actually like to date G.I. Jane. |
| Still know how to use a buffer. |
| Can tell you anything you want to know about an M1911A1 even though they are no longer in the inventory. |
| Believe that they do have a rendezvous with destiny. |
| Believe that "Nuts" wasn't all that Brigadier General McAuliffe said to the Germans at Bastogne. |
| Don't know how to use a "stress card". |
| Idolize John Wayne. |
| Don't believe that AAFES really needs a "commander". |
| Really don't like taking shit from those who haven't "been there". |
| Would have paid money to see Custer getting his clock cleaned. |
| Know how to properly construct a field latrine. |
| Know how to do a daisy chain. |
| Knows that a daisy chain is not a sex act. |
| Might admire the Germans, but still realize they got their asses kicked. |
| Aren't afraid of the Chinese, who probably don't have enough rowboats to invade Taiwan. |
| Would rather be OPFOR than MOPP 4. |
| Don't believe a damn thing the Iraqis say. |
| Don't need a GPS to find themselves. |
| Have enough BDU's in their closet to start a surplus store. |
| Still have their Fatigues and Khakis. |
| Think that MRE's taste good (with a little hot sauce). |
| Are convinced that "wall-to-wall" counseling really works. |
| Have more time on the frontline than their commanders have in the chow line. |
| Know how to make coffee when the measuring scoop goes missing. |
| Know that it's not good coffee when you can see through it. |
| Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M-16. |
| Know that inept leaders will always say they have inept soldiers. |
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